self destruction....

when you begin to self-destruct, it becomes a never-ending circle. you realize what path you have chosen and while you wish desperately to turn around, you figure that you might as well see how much you can get away with before something bad happens. but what most don't see is that the bad is already happening. you start to rationalize actions that you otherwise would think are ridiculous and repulsive. you start saying that things will get better one day but for now, you're just having fun.

it takes a couple unruly days &/or nights attached with horrible decisions and embarrassing mistakes to understand what hole you've yourself in and how shitty it's going to be climbing out. so then the real choice stands..."how far do you want to test yourself, your limits and your sanity before enough is enough?"

Just when you think....

It's hard being a women. You don't fall for the petty shit anymore but you try so hard not to be jaded. It's the small things that make you smile especially when they are so unexpected.

Boys are everywhere. But how do you really distinguish them from the men? It's in their nature to be foolish and immature and it's in our nature to love/loathe them for it. But you know that it's something real when on your own time, with no one watching you, you can't help but smile and the present with slight hopes of the future. That's when you know it's worth it...